*We lived so close that we've probably seen the same bird the same sun, solemnly seen. One day I'll find just that friend who can see, all this weird beauty thrown right at me*
Our story is such a sick, sad, sappy, love story..and I love that. The songs we continuosly added to our " wedding mixed tape" were so special to us. The long long road trips where we would hold each other for hours and sing our songs to each other were so beyond magical. I had eyes for no One but you and you no One but me. If you'd ever felt differently, you never made me second guess it. That look you gave me when you told me i looked so pretty or "hot" ..melted me...gave me butterflies until the day you left us. Those butterflies persisted for two straight years and have yet to cease. Sure they're not everyday but it's so often. I have always been so grateful for that and the love you gave me. I told you that I couldn't live without you and you told me the same, so many times. We loved each other so deeply that we wondered if in some way our children were being shorted.
We were so close. So close to happily ever after and forever and always. I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your words. Your new job was going to be our out. I truly believe that. I wish I had of expressed that harder to you. I know that you knew and still know, where ever you are, that half of my heart is with you. I will try with everything in me to use what is left of me, without you, to get our little precious family where you longed for us to be.
I always told you that I would find you in your next life or in the afterlife and I will. I can't imagine living this short life without us hand in hand but it's not forever. We will be together again.
You came up to me in the tiger and told me i was beautiful and that I always had been. I had never felt real, unabashed, unconditional love, until you. I will never forget the first time our lips met, the first of many things. Everything felt new and pure and beautiful. We were in the clouds and that feeling never died. No One will ever hold me, touch me, kiss me, love me as you loved me Brenton Kyle Munroe.
I used to wonder if other people had that love and hoped they did . I didn't feel worthy of it in so many ways but you reassured me so often and for all of these 12 short years.
I will never forget our inside jokes. The jokes we had with our beautiful daughter, the life you wanted for your baby son, the laughter that No One else could bring the way you did. I will always remember the way your hair felt when I would scratch and rub your head while you were driving, or the way your breath tasted and smelled when you kissed me. I told you so many times that I loved you so much that I even loved your morning breath. We joked that we were so obsessed with each other because of our pheromones.
Our adventures were to be admired too. We were attached at the hip and even though We felt abandoned sometimes by our friends or the world, we didn't ever dwell or give it more than a moment, bc we were enough. The kayaking, the festival's, the hiking, the events and attractions, the vacations and road trips...you told me we would grow old together and I'm not mad that you got out of here before I did. I'm just selfishly sad that me and our children dont have you anymore. Maybe bradey , nanny and jeffe needed you for bigger things. It's not for me to know. You will forever be the biggest part of me and you'll never die in my heart and memory. I will get out there and help people who struggled with life as we did, like we spoke of so many times. After all, it's not love that's complicated or hard, our love and relationship was always easy, beautifully unflawed, it is life that's painful, hard to navigate, difficult to find answers for. You're at no fault for not being perfect, You were perfect in so so so many ways. Sometimes we just can't give the world everything it wants of us, and that's ok. You gave it everything, you gave us so much that I pray it didn't leave a hole that needed to be filled. I listened and wept for your sorrows and you mine and we dealt with them the best way we could at the time. We were working for better and we were almost there. You were doing so so so good. I am so proud and always will be. I'm honored to have your children and to have gotten you as my person. Those 12 years seem like they started yesterday but I'm selfishly elated that almost every moment of that time was spent so close to me.
I know this is a line for a mother and her son....but it seems so right, right now .
AS LONG AS I'M LIVING MY BABY YOU'LL BE ❤️❤️❤️😢
Until we meet again Brenton
Magen Alyse Hubbard
❤️s
Brenton Kyle Munroe
Forever
&
Always